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No, I pass my time, working, eating and sleeping, always wondering, fearful, sometimes even regretful. The last frame of that evil video, showing Martin and Sybil on that bed, their blood fresh, bright and shiny, with the caption ‘You’re Next’ is burned into my brain. I know it wasn’t an idle threat. Not my husband. The only thing I wonder is how long he’ll make me wait before delivering the coup de grâce. I shudder to think what form my own ending will take. I wish I had the courage to end it myself. But I’m weak, I’ve always been weak, and he knows that. All I do is wait. Wait and wonder. That and think about the weakness that took me down this road. What if Sue had never told me about seeing Marty’s huge cock? What if I’d never danced with him, feeling it pressing against me? What if I hadn’t allowed him to kiss me like that, on New Year’s? What if I’d been strong, and rejected Sybil’s offer to come over and see the jewelry he imported? What if I hadn’t looked, if I’d left when. Dozing in and out for the rest of the night awakened by crashes of lightning and pounds of thunder the storm finally seemed as though it was letting up. Still pouring rain I heard a hard knock at the door and someone enter. Stretching and feeling very stiff from sleeping curled up in the bath tub I put one foot on the floor, instantly soaked. There was about 2′ of very cold water covering the whole floor. Cussing I made it out of the bathroom to see James standing there in a panic. The look on his face, you would have thought I was swept away with the tide. He stepped into the room further and gave me the biggest hug so tight I could barely breathe. Sitting me on the bed he grabbed my suitcase then moving to my drawers, he started tossing things into the cases and told me to get dressed I was leaving. I didn’t understand the drama, I was fine, achy from the hard porcelain tub, but fine. The look on his face though made it seem as though there was urgency to his quickness of packing.
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